Interventionalism

Don't Send 'Our Boys' to London, Mothers plead.

Mothers of British service personnel called up to provide security at the Olympic Games have urged Defence Secretary Philip Hammond to reconsider sending troops to the troubled area.

"It's any mother's worst nightmare," confided Sarah Jones, who's son David is in the Yorkshire regiment. "I am proud my lad signed up to serve his country, but I'm just not sure we should be there."

"I don't like it," admitted David, "But it's the job I chose to do. Personally, I'd rather take my chances getting shot at by coked up ragheads in Afghanistan, but I've been assigned to help out at the Olympics."

"The tube is going to be a nightmare," he sighed.
 
France and Germany have hit out at proposed intervention, stating that the United Kingdom 'does not have a mandate for this conflict', and urging the government to act in the best interests of global stability.

Earlier today, the UN Security Council failed to reach a decision over the ongoing Olympic drama.

A Cabinet spokesperson issued a statement, replying to the French and German ambassadors, stating that "...every civilized nation had a duty to act to bring an end to the terrible suffering endured by seven million Londoners."

The spokesperson would not clarify if that would extend to regime change, but one insider remarked,

"There has been a lot of speculation over Boris Johnson recently. I think it is fair to say that he is dangerously unhinged, and poses a significant threat the the international community."

Critics have hit out at government plans to deploy 18,000 personnel to the capital in order to cover the twelve-day Games. The protest group, "Bombs not Bag-Searches"  have issued a fourteen page document outlining the risks posed to soldiers serving in London. These risks include dodgy take-aways, unintelligible cockney accents, 'them faggets (sic) in Soho' and a particularly confusing road-system designed pin soldiers down in a congestion zone before ambushing them with ludicrous penalties. It also 'gets a bit hairy' in certain parts of West London at night, but acknowledges that soldiers training and discipline should ensure minimum casualties and confirmed that the standard pattern SA80 combat rifle is 'pretty tasty during a mugging.'
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"Boris is mad, and intervention could get a lot of our boys killed," Ethan Haw, secretary of "Bombs not Bag-Searches"  told us.

"Once again, the average squaddie finds himself facing a situation he did not create, far from home and in a place he has no vested interest in."

The Military Wives Choir - who rose to prominence last Christmas - have recorded a song entitled, "Baby Don't Go (To London)." Proceeds from the sale will be donated to a fund helping soldiers who attended the Royal Jubilee to rebuild the shattered ruins of their lives.