Change You Can't Believe In

So the AV referendum was up yesterday, and I should have voted. I should have also wrote a blog post, telling other people to vote. And I should have voted yes.

"What?" I hear you cry. "Aren't you one of those Annie-Kists that likes smashing up banks, fighting cops and living in a filthy quagmire of your own half-eaten pitta bread and unwashed socks?"

The short answer is 'yes', the long answer is 'yes but I don't like humous'. So let me explain, in a concise way, the need for voting yes - even though it's too late to change, and by all accounts, we got hammered.

1) David Cameron was voting no. And, as we know, David Cameron is an interdimensional locust sent through time to enslave humanity. He must be stopped at all costs, before we're reduced to a Terminator-style situation, cool as that would be.

2) Trots are voting no. Trots are uniquely evil, misguided trolls who thrive on crushing individuality, autonomy, and progress in general. Imagine them to be like goblins with megaphones. They are fractured into various tribes with frequent infighting. They dislike the sun, and prefer cool, damp, underground caves. They have an incomprehensible goblin-morality, they smell, and are responsible for much pain in the world. The word Trot is derived from the Yorkshire - 'To rot' - meaning to decay and stagnate.

3) Political reform will always be advocated as a final resort. So if you won't want legions of newly awakened radicals settling for the barest minimum of concession instead of making genuine gains, you should be in favour of AV.

4) Disillusionment with the system comes as a long result of small annoyances, betrayals, and increments of disappointment. By reforming now, we add AV to the list of collective failures of organised, hierarchical, 'representative', party-politics.

5) Tzeentch demands it. Or maybe he doesn't. Who knows?

Embrace the Change!

For all of those reasons and more, you should have voted yes in the AV ref. Although if you didn't - much like me - then nevermind. It's not like it would have made anything better.