Murder on the Dancefloor

Since the advent of the Wii, mankind has been plagued by the horrors of motion controllers. You know the type that people crack out at parties and everyone has a go at bowling or something. Well, being money-leeches that they are, Microsoft and Sony have followed suit with their own version of the Wii-mote which allows you to do a lot of fake sporting activities and possibly throw your back, but its all good fun, as this fella found out.

Now, I'm all for technology and the enhanced gaming experience, but there's something a little disturbing about motion controllers that I can't put my finger on. Maybe its the fact that you look like a total goon flailing around madly, espoused by the JLS advert for the Wii that featured them all jerking their arms up and down as fast as possible. Perhaps its the farnkly disturbing idea that if it hasn't been done already, soon I'll be able to simulate stabbing someone to death from the comfort of my own livingroom. I mean, honestly, would you want to live next to the guy who plays Manhunt II with a motion controller and has an unhealthy collection of baseball bats?

I thought not.

Sure, you can say that we've had the motion gun things for ages, with classic pub games involving the Time Crisis series, where you simulate blowing your way through legions of goons with a high-powered pistol. But whatever. I'm not even advocating a casual link between computer-games and violence, being a firm believer that the only reason I haven't gone postal yet is that I can still ram a chainsaw into someone over Gears online, and know the protests in my headset come from a real teenager out in the world somewhere as his character is messily dismembered. And on that note, here's Cliff:

Simulated violence is awesome.

So no, its not the violence, its the fact you look like a fool. Definately that one. And sure, you can always play party games with your Wii-mote alone, but then you look like a lonely fool who has no friends. But you can't shake the idea that stoving someone's head in with a motion controller is just a little bit creepy. Sometimes there's a genuine reason that games don't need to be *that* realistic.