It was once commented on that quality show "Mock the Week", that the moment a man in a windowless box gets a clear view of your pork sword, terrorism has already won. There is an element of truth to this sad tale, I guess. Despite the fact they could be unlawful, have concerning implications for child pornography, and could give you cancer* - amongst other things, bodyscanners have been rolled out. The very fact that we've been reduced to numerically ordered phantom nudes has got to be some sort of victory for people wishing to radically alter government process, undermine liberal democracy and terrorise people into not going abroad. I, of course, have nothing to fear, being the very paragon of mansculine virtue. Indeed, the mere flex of my guns will cause the bodyscanners to implode, and instantly transform the drab (and possibly slightly perverted) average airport security worker into a smoking hot catwalk model, crowding in with offers to give me a pat down instead.
I. Wish.
However, for normal people, all is not lost. Being a massive loser for twenty three years made me realise the truth of when people say "its not the winning that counts, its the taking part". And the government is enthusaistically pursuing this moral victory on behalf of the people of Britain as we speak.
See, the terror threat level has five stages which all sound pretty bad, really. On the face of it, it's certainly not as cool as the five stage colour-coded American version, which features low, general (a general threat of terrorism?), substantial, severe and imminent. Americans can also get a cool tracker to help spread the hysteria from this cheerful website - terror-alert.com. We get two terror alert levels, being a rather special nation. One from Irish terrorism, and one from international terrorism, with the current levels being severe and substancial respectively. Now, the thing is, we've not had a large casuality inflicting terrorist attack since the - frankly awful - 7/7 bombings. Nor does Irish-related terrorism - being a different breed to religiously motivated terrorism - tend to deliberately target civillians indescriminately in everyday locations. The problem with the word terrorism is that it has become a big amorphous blob of burning towers, ruined buses and bearded psychopaths.
We do have a cheerful history of terror alerts, too, being mostly at either at severe or critical since August 2006. Sometimes I wonder if its just to keep us in the loop. I mean, we can't be conciously thinking of terrorism every day. After all, returning to "Mock the Week", if we had transformed into a nation resembling little more than a frightened ball of self-interest, unable to leave the house because of the ever present - some might say "big, looming, terrifying!" terrorist threat of dubious reality - then I guess they've already won. Spiked quotes:
"Somewhere, in what seems like a parallel universe, security men and women are working around the clock to track terror plots. As we go about our everyday lives, shopping, working and travelling, they are assessing our nations’ vulnerability to attack, shifting the terror-alert status to reflect the nature and extent of whatever threat they catch wind of.
Every now and then, officials like to remind the public that this parallel universe exists and is keeping us safe."
Some might see this as the duty of concerned government, while the more healthily cynical (which unfortunately can also broaden into the downright depressingly insane, self assured conspiracy theorists) might catch wind of the potential benefits and positive uses of such a system. After all, thinking about it, I don't know anyone who takes a concious note of terror threat levels unless they're splashed across the rags. I definately don't think anyone (at least I hope), apart from the most crazy right-winger, would rise early in the morning, grab his binoculars and head out looking for terrorist activity. Unless they work for the government, I suppose, in which case they really don't need terror threat levels.
Lacking a real practical use for terror threat levels other than to remind the population from time to time of the importance of being worried, I can't see the point in them. Unless making us paranoid is a political end in itself. Adam Curtis - in the much acclaimed "Power of Nightmares" - points out that politicans can't sell us dreams anymore. Only terrorists, recessions, cuts, war, immigration and crime. Nothing wrong with being a pessimist, I'm sure, being a convicted one myself, but every now and then you wonder if being raised on a diet of depressing news is good for our national conciousness.
*But if you are a glutton for depressing news, a full list - courtesy of the Daily Mail - of cancer causing substances can be found here. You might actually be on it.
Of course it could have nothing to do with the fact that with an ever increasing lack of oil wells and an up-coming recession predicted by world economist, that the governments of America and Britain [our 'Special Relationship' being that of an S&M couple by this point] decided to quickly turn their promises of a better tomorrow into warnings of "The world is fucking dangerous! Foreigners are out to kill you! Terrorists CAN and WILL kill us all - Just remember who is keeping you safe!".
ReplyDeleteIn short they turned quickly from 'our friends whom have paid for all our drinks on a great weekend out' into a 'paranoid loan shark with too many teeth on a power trip'.
Of course it would have nothing to do with these things. Nothing to do with the fact that this happened during a time when political activism was on the rise, the kids of the world were increasingly middle class and all wanting to be educated further and political participating in favour of modern governments was at an all time low [labelled as apathy, rather then my personal terminology, 'public distrust and open hatred of the cowardice, lying, control freak agenda though viable and active means - by simply NOT participating in their games anymore].
Also may it be noted that the debt of this country was definitely not very well timed given the circumstances. That people are more likely to put their faith in a higher power when shit hits the fan, and they are less able to take care of themselves because they don't have the resources to manage their own lives. That the twelve years that Labour was in power and their student-esque MAD spending spree was defiantly not predicted as massively wasteful and out right bonkers [Millennium Dome anyone?], resulting in a new generation of hopeful middle-class kids footing the bill of their parents and grandparents, whilst subsequently creating a SUPER-CLASS of UNDER-CLASS.
That's right. By spending more money they actually managed to create a powerful race of super-poor, super-uneducated, super-angry people. Succeeded only in their quest for utter world domination by wasteful spending and zombie apocalypse by The Umbrella Corporation : http://www.cracked.com/article_18781_umbrella-most-wasteful-movie-corporation-ever.html
-Trojan