The Will of the People

I'm not saying there is a direct link between people who hang around expensive cars all day and fascism, but I'm not saying there isn't. If anything, the evidence supports my hypothesis. Max Mosley's Nazi sex dungeon and Prince Harry's unfortunate fancy dress disaster being two that spring to mind. The most recent example is Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkeson's social faux pas in which he advocates the execution of public sector workers.

Nice car, right? You're probably a fascist.

The post isn't really about Jeremy, anyway. I could talk about how my opinion of him has fallen so low its actually started burrowing, but I'm not going to. I'm going to talk about our love affair with fascism.

We're not unused to the idea of fascism, realistically speaking. National hero and all round good-guy Winston Churchill advocated gassing Ethiopians, sterilising the mentally infirm and preventing the fire-brigade from putting out a fire that killed some Latvian anarchists. "I thought it better to let the house burn down rather than spend good British lives in rescuing those ferocious rascals." Contrary to popular opinion, he did not send the army after strikers, apparently. Because he's good like that.

Blunkett asked the police to machine-gun rioting prisoners, the Daily Mail published 'Hurrah for the Blackshirts", the police rack up an impressive tally of 'acidental police-related deaths' and the EDL rampage through towns and cities without anyone with influence taking a step back and saying 'hang on a minute, these guys are nuts'. Fascism, we're acquainted with it.

I think there must be an unwritten law somewhere that the longer you talk to people, the chance of them revealing themselves to be closeted Nazi's increases to definite. Everyone has a fascism boundary, the crossing of which plunges us into an even more dystopian world that the one we've already got. So, since we live in a democratic free society, I guess we are compelled to give the people what they want. I'm not advocating fascism, I'm advocating a lesson in 'being careful what you wish for'.

After all, everyone's opinion of fascism seems to be 'It's great, but so long as it doesn't affect me', or the NIMBY approach. It's a fundamental misunderstanding of the concept of supreme evil, but supreme evil being what it is, I guess it's hard to fathom. So here we go, Jeremy, shoot all the strikers you want. Just make sure you do it yourself. Explain to their tearful families why you unfortunately had no choice. Tell them you were just following orders. Return to your wife and kids and explain how many people you've killed today, and why you've done it.

Expand to wider society. Deport everyone not white - since this is what people like 'Tram Lady'* want, and then inflict untold suffering on the remaining population. Cut the hands off thieves* and watch bankers frantically try to type with their noses. Sterilise the 'mentally frail', which will include a good percentage of the population. I'm not even talking about the poor, or the general population of faceless generic drones. I'm talking about Beethoven, Lincoln, Newton and van Gogh, and ironically, Winston Churchill. I'm talking about children with Down Syndrome. Send the van for them. It's fascism, happening right now. It's in your living room.

This is what you wanted, right?

Castrate sex offenders like the 11 year old kid who got his 14 year old girlfriend pregnant. Machine gun prisoners, like Aung San Suu Kyi. This is what you wanted asked for. How about we round up kids who play truant. Lets use dogs and helicopters to chase children. Cut payments to the 2.62 million people on benefits - including you, when you lose your job. Let them starve. This is what we're after. This is the utopia we're building.

Fascism: By popular demand

I've met a lot of people in the last few days who have no sympathy with the Public Sector. The news coverage spreads tales of cancelled operations, chaos and shut schools. Parents being forced to spend time with their children. Absolute carnage. The end of days. I think any future arguments with disagreeable people who dislike Public Sector Workers and their 'golden pensions' can be solved by my immediate theft of their personal belongings. Maybe take a huge slug of their pint, pull the chair out from under them, or steal their handbag. When they protest, flatly refuse to give it them back. After all, they don't deserve it...


* More on her later
* This medieval gem was offered by a local PC when they visited my store for shoplifting.