True Colours

I did originally intend to do this about a week ago, when people's Facebook Status' were all full of news updates on the Public Sector strikes. So here you go, Ed Miliband being, well...


It should be blindingly obvious.

Leader of the Labour Party, head of the Opposition, and all round good guy Ed Miliband decides to do an interview for the BBC. Unfortunately, Ed has only managed to prepare a single paragraph worth of material, which he repeats four to five times over the course of the discussion.

"These strikes are wrong."

So, Ed, better the Devil you know?

I did note with passing amusement that quite a few Labour sympathisers on my newsfeed were condemning the attitude taken by the Tory and Liberal government, praising their party and generally adopting the fingers-in-ears approach. These people labour under a severe misaprehension that the Labour Party actually cares about workers. Well, it doesn't. It instead, under Miliband, has continued the Torification of British Politics by presenting alternative politics as just meaning alternative faces. Check it out. It's Ed's Leader's speech, and if you can stomach it for long enough, you'll see just how much an alternative he really is.

But before this gets too in depth and dry, there are other issues with Ed Miliband.

1) He reminds me of Rik Mayall's character Alan B'stard, from The New Statesman. There's just something creepy and insincere about him, like a robot wearing his skin and attempting to mimic human emotion. Can you believe this man has raised Labour's profile to the highest it has been since 2002?

Lock up your wives and children.

2) He is repetative. Sorry Ed, but you are. All he did for the entirity of that interview was mix up the words "strikes, wrong, parents, inconvenience, rhetoric, government, talks, ongoing." The order of these words was rearranged throughout the discussion, but no new words were added. It should be remixed by some internet peeps. It has all the gnawing thumping of a bad dance track.

3) His brother is so much cooler. Check this out.

Samuel Jackson

Ed Miliband's badass brother

Basically, between the suit and the fro, David Miliband looks like a nerdy white version of Samuel Jackson from Pulp Fiction. Coincidence? I think not, motherfucker. Now if anyone could put the fear of god into David Cameron, it'd be David Miliband giving the "And you will know my name is the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon thee..." speech right before he blows him away.

4) Ed, you are boring, monotone, grey, limp and wet. I'm sorry, but you are the Couscous of Politics. Most of the time you look like a startled deer anyway. Give up and turn back, before it's too late.

So, lets recap.

For anyone who had a shred of faith in human decency and the goodness of the labour party, you're wrong. It's over, it is finished. Listen to his speeches, and just look at the guy. Labour are not even keeping up the pretense of looking out for people. They are the fluffy Conservative party, which somehow makes me hate them more. The Conservatives I dislike with every fibre of my being, but at least they're as cold as a bastard and cutting as a razor's edge.They're at least a second rate Bond villan.

Labour offend me by the very fact they're are pretty inoffensive, dull, uninteresting and have no conviction at all. But hey, I've known all this for some time, but for everyone else's benefit, this should be the last straw. You can at least see that they've choked the basic human decency out of themselves until their ties turn blue.