Have You Seen This Tree?

WANTED: Dead or Alive

Murderous Poplar Tree - "Not so 'Poplar' anymore"*

A young girl was tragically killed by a branch thrown by this tree as she sat on a bench on Thursday. The tree was last scene in the Yaxley park area. It is described by police as fifty feet tall and incredibly dangerous. The public are strongly advised to avoid the tree, and contact police if they spot it. The tree is believed to be colluding with striking teachers, who yesterday sent a chilling video to the Daily Mail.

The video shows three masked teachers brandishing knives and Russian-made Klashnikov assault rifles with a banner reading 'N-U-T' behind them. Their message is clear, despite the shakey camera work.

"David Cameron and Nick Clegg, let us be clear. We have shown our determination. We are prepared to kill again."

If you tolerate this, your children will be next.

....

And back in the real world. What?

This is a blog directly... ...inspired...(?) ...by the Daily Mail article which blames teachers for killing a young girl via the medium of striking. If you didn't read the article I posted above...

READ IT NOW.

In the article, detailing the tragic death of a young girl, the bile inducing hacks at the Daily Mail, for whom - in all serious, satire aside - there is a special place in Hell, strikes and industrial action are reffered to eight times. Eight times. The basic breakdown is that if those selfish teachers had not been on strike, she would have been in school, and thus, not dead. The article also blames council workers for not taking the tree down sooner as it was a known menace. In the comments section, at the moment*, someone blames poor parenting for allowing the teenager to be in the park in the first place.


When I started writing this, I thought I might write something interesting or funny, but basically, the best I can manage is blind rage. You win, internet troll. You got me angry. I hope whoever wrote this article dies in the next twelve hours, screaming in angoy while their nearest and dearest walk solmenly past, shaking their heads. The Daily Mail has always been unfit to wipe the arse of a vindaloo-gobbling dog, but this is too much. Not only are you wrong, DM, but you've reached a microsopic level of pathetic, vomit inducing, whinging. I know a lot of words synonymous with contempt, but there aren't any I can use to describe my thoughts right now.

Highjack someone's grief to take a cheap shot at hardworking people.

Way to go, dicks.

*This gem is from my lovely ladyfriend.
*Before this horrendous article undoubtedly goes viral