Pictures of Princess Katherine without her top on have been widely circulated by foreign media, prompting outraged Britons to take to the Internet in protest.
"It is absolutely sickening that a woman has pictures taken of her, without her clothes on, without her knowledge" said IT Worker Terry Holdsworth from behind his locked bedroom door. "These pictures of her glistening, naked breasts sunning themselves on her magnificently perfect upper class chest are an abomination. No true Englishman would take this lying down."
"Now can you leave me alone, I only have ten minutes before my wife gets home and I'm trying to look a pictures of women with no clothes on. Importantly, these women have decided the necessity of feeding their children to be a worthy case for nudity. It isn't just an issue of consent, it's an issue of social standing, and how we, as a society, view women as a whole."
"Generally, naked. But only the poor ones."
Local Van Driver Pete McGuffin expressed outrage at the pictures, stating that, "Trust those filthy fucking foreigners to degrade our monarchy like that. Set of bastards, that's what they are," before pausing briefly to yell sexual obscenities at teenage girls in school uniform.
"They love it, filthy slags." He chuckled.
Herbert Derbingham, MP for West Countryshire, hit out at foreign reporters taking pictures of the princess, comparing her to the late Princess Diana, 'The People's Princes'.
"We do not want to turn her into another Diana. You know, eloping with a millionaire playboy before being involved in a fatal car accident after living the last few years of her life in miserable pampered luxury with millions of adoring sycophants."
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| The last days of a truely tortured individual. Definately not posted in a British tabloid. |
Professor Stibbons, working on behalf of the Institute of Social Things and Other Trends, stated that.
"What we are seeing is a self-righteous reaction delivered without even a trace of irony or double standards by the British public, particularly those most likely to have less-than-progressive views on women and/or foreigners.It is unfortunate that, as a dark reflection of the society we live in, the very same thousands of people who are annoyed by this watched Jade Goody take a trip to the undiscovered country by following her every dying breath with the rapt attention associated with ghoulish meerkats. This includes buying and reading the memorial issue of Hello Magazine while she was actually still alive."
"What the fuck is wrong with people, anyway? Seriously, there are seven billion people on this planet, what the hell are you fawning clowns playing at? Get your shit together, you're starting to creep us out."
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